Sniper Focused

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
-Dads

So, we just got home from Florida.
The land of sun, pools and the joy that comes while standing in lines for hours just so your daughter can get her picture with as many Disney Princesses as possible. I blame Belle for my very sore sunburn...

One of my favorite parts of our annual Florida vacation is the time, even if brief, we get to spend with friends. I saw my amazing friend Juan, who is doing really great things for the medical community in Orlando. Greg Francis, the writer of the last entry, and him and his wife are doing so incredible. I also got to tour the campus of South Eastern University in Lakeland with my friend Prof. Ben Gomez.

I love Ben. He’s one of those guys that even though I only see him once a year or talk to him a few times a year over text or social media, we never skip a beat. It was amazing to see him in His element. Students giving him shout outs everywhere we went on the campus, him interacting with the staff and faculty… it was really something to see. I went back the Ben’s place, ate pizza and hung with our ladies while our daughters swam for a few ours. Such a refreshing time!

So here’s what I want to get at.

I could see Ben was happy at work. I could see that he was in his element and was thriving in what he’d been putting his hands to. But it was at his house when we began talking about our futures that I had that “ah-ha” moment. Ben’s thoughts aren’t stuck on the things of the past, but he’s living focused for today and focused for what life will hope to look like at 40 and then again at 65. It was then God reminded me that when we lack vision for our lives, we get caught up in things that we may not be called to. The real us begin to die. Personally, I know that I’ve let some of the callings and passions in my life get put on the back burner, resulting in a lot of frustration and the feeling of being incomplete.

Proverbs 29:18
If people can’t see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves; but when they attend to what he reveals, they are most blessed.

What I do know is that God doesn’t revoke the plans He’s set out for you. That’s not His M.O. He’s come so that we could live life and life to the full! Maybe you used to be focused on that thing, that passion He placed inside of you and then, maybe because of an unfortunate event, thought that you’d missed the mark and so you laid that passion down.

Please, just as He reminds me in little ways almost every single day, know that it is Jesus that writes your story and not the disappointment you find in this world that would want to rob you of the very thing you’re called to.

For me, I know my calling. I know what moves me, drives me and makes me feel alive.
But I also know my flaws and the terrible things that I'm capable of. The deciding factor of what should win out in this battle isn’t what I’ve done in the past, but in a repentant life, realize that as far as the east is from the west, Jesus has no clue what I’m worried. He’s forgotten.

 

Jesus is only focused on and hopeful for my future!

 

So I encourage you, get enough guts today to start dreaming again. Focus in and begin to thrive! It may not look exactly like you thought it would, but hey, I figure that’s half coupling our trust with the adventure He’s setting you up for!

Oh, and if you can find a friend like Ben Gomez, who basically makes fun of you for not following something that God has so obviously placed over your life, keep him/her close. 

Jumpman... Jumpman... Jumpman...

Uh uh, uh uh, think I need some Robitussin
-Graham

Let me give you a little intro to this guest blogger. Greg Francis has been a friend of mine for almost 7 or 8 years now. I met Greg through a ministry friend of mine and asked him and a buddy of his to do a pre-show to a conference I was holding. He crushed it that weekend. So talented, so humble and just a good dude to be around. Greg was one of the guys who was around in the "good" times. Always championing what I was up to; always one to give a shoutout and some love. Most importantly though, Greg was there in the lowest moments. Listening, talking, a hand helping to dust off the condemnation from so many other parties... Greg IS, in my mind, the true definition of an authentic friend. I'm actually so excited that I get to see him and his beautiful wife in just a few weeks time as me and the girls head to FL for some vacation time.
Please take some time to follow Greg and his thoughts on his personal blog:
brobooksite.wordpress.com/blog

Love you Greg!
Thanks for the these thoughts!
-Drew

When I reminisce about High School and growing up in Brooklyn, I immediately think of my friends. We were pretty brutal, now that I think about it. Whether it was ranking on each others' moms or making fun of someone's awkward jump-shot, we never really cut each other much slack. I think that as a teenager, there was a special kind of transparency in the relationships I had that I don't always value as a 27 year-old.

One of our favorite games to play in High School was "Real or Fake". My friends and I would go around on the subway or in the hallways of school and we would try and spot a fake pair of Jordan's on someone's feet. I mean, if the Jumpman on a pair of Jordan Cement 3's were even the slightest bit off, you'd better believe you were in for a roasting session that you'd barely make it out of with your pride in tact. Say what you want but this kind of teenage brutality prepared me for something that 20's would try and distract me from. And it is this: people can spot a fake.

Much like a knockoff pair of J's, inauthenticity in our lives is both recognizable by others and it is unacceptable. In the way that it applies to our relationships and faith, it becomes detrimental. Fake Jordan's is embarrassing but fake relationship is insulting. It's insulting to our spouses and significant others. It's insulting to our friends and loved ones. It is probably most insulting to God.

If we look at the Cross and the reason that Christ's suffering was endured, it is apparent that meaningful relationship meant a great deal to God. For Jesus, it was worth the cost. For Jesus, the real thing just had to be copped, regardless of the price tag. For Jesus, a knock-off crucifixion just would not do. My friends, authenticity was way too expensive of a purchase for us decide that we will live a life that is not deep and transparent and real. 

And I get it! Wouldn't you take a discount if it meant it ALMOST looked like the real thing? I've come to learn that it's just not worth it. Some things are just better when it's real. When it comes to relationships, there's no way to replicate authenticity. The best con-man couldn't do it. Much like my friends and I in High School, an inauthentic thing can be spotted from a mile away- especially when the observers are the people closest to you.

There is no discounting with authenticity. It either is or it isn't. Anything less than what is raw and true is simply cheap. The people who matter to you most deserve the real you. YOU deserve the real you.

I promise that I mean well. I hope my point is not too harsh or disturbing for you. If it is, then I rest in the fact that I'm simply being authentic. 

Because no shortcut is worth it.
No facade is exempt.
Much like a bootleg pair of kicks, nobody likes a fake.

Labels Lie

Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
-Jackson

Just as a precursor, I’m not about to borrow someone’s anointing or take someone’s thought and pretend that it’s mine for the sake of pretending to be smarter or more eloquent than I am (which isn’t very, I must admit). But here’s my thoughts for today that have actually stirred something that was once a core message that I held tight to even before I needed more than I could had known… Labels lie.

I came home from my run this morning and found Andy in the washroom watching Steven Furtick live while getting ready for church. Pastor was talking about Christians and how easily it seems a people who are meant to be known as loving and inclusive (as scary word in church culture these days) and forgiving to be the exact opposite.

Anyone here guilty of this?
Yes, my hand is raised high with the rest of the class.

It seems to me that for a people who are meant to see past the sin and see the struggle; the issue or issues that need to be addressed and healed, we can do a really incredible job at labeling people by the mistakes that they have made and letting them sit in that label for good. When people let us down, I’ve found that writing them off seems easiest and most convenient for our busy schedules rather than walking along side people and getting to the root of what’s caused reason for such descriptions to occur. 

Furtick brought up an interesting point. Remember Thomas the disciple? What’s his nickname? What do we associate with his name? Right… ‘Doubting’ Thomas. In his weak moment, Thomas questions the fact of Jesus' resurrection and stands resolute until he can see the holes in His hands himself. Jesus appears to Thomas and says, “Peace be with you…” Interesting. He doesn’t call him out, “you’re such a doubter… what the heck you your problem man! You’re never gonna live this one down…” Jesus meets Thomas in his questions and doubts and says, “Touch my hands… touch my sides…” He doesn’t condemn Thomas’ journey or his for his lack of faith but walks him to a point of conclusion.

I’m in awe of a God who doesn’t hold my low moments against me.
I’m in awe of a God who sees my lack of faith, my rebellion and my ignorance and still chooses to meet me where I’m at, without condemnation, to bring me closer to understanding His heart for me.

Maybe you feel that your past failures or your current mistakes have backed you into a corner so tight that you’ll never be able to become something more. Maybe you have bought into the lies and labels that the enemy or society has tied to your name. I believe, even right now, that God is bringing a peace and a freedom to your life that even breaks such heaviness of your past.

You’re NOT ‘doubting’ Thomas.
You’re NOT ‘lying’ Laura.
You’re NOT ‘adulterous’ Andrew.

You’re covered by the grace and forgiveness of the One who sees who as He sees His son; blameless and spotless. Your role to play in this is only that of someone in need. He’s meeting that need right now!

So yea, society or your social circle may want to pin you down because of those few mistakes that you’ve made along the journey but I promise you, that’s not who you are and that’s not what your destiny is tied to.

I’m left hopeful today.
I’m left with a sense that I am not the thoughts or pretense of others, rather, I am the delight of my Dad.

 

For a Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic.

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” 
-Twain

I realize that it’s been a good while since I’ve posted any thoughts here. I haven’t been in the best of spirits as of late and every time I start to write a blog, I only get so far and then just end up shutting the computer.

I’ve reminded myself that even though my thoughts aren’t always completely positivity or saturated in joy, I had made a choice…
I know there is many people who have felt or are feeling the same way I do, and so, my vulnerability and pain doesn’t have to go to waste.

At the moment, I’m dealing with situations, both new and old, that are exhausting me; mind, body and spirit. The thoughts and “what ifs” and the “if onlys” spiral through my mind every day and, if I’m honest, I find myself becoming callus and angry. Acting in a way that in contrary to whom I have been journeying to become.

Ephesians 4:26 tells us, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger…” I read this, and I remember when Jesus himself showed up to the synagogue that day and started flipping tables. Righteous anger, I’ve heard it called. As far as my attitude has been, I’m far past flipping tables…

I am having the hardest time in my current situation taking the injustice I feel has happened and not sin in my anger.

Its in these moments (and I know this time around I’m super late to the party this time around) I need to remind myself that I am responsible for what I think, say and do. There will continually be moments in life where I’m dealt (or I deal) disappointment, but its what I do in those moments and how I process those moments that truly shows personal growth and conviction to the Grace that I so desperately want to walk in.

My friend Jesse Norman (check out @mycitycentral on Instagram) posted this on Facebook and it hit me like a ton of bricks. He said, “We don't get to choose what happens to us, we do get to choose how we respond!”

I have a choice in my anger. I can fly off the handle and let entitlement and ego raise its ugly head… I can curse and speak death over a situation… or… I can come back to what this blog has been all about. The idea that we are all broken. The idea that we are all on a journey and sometimes our journey can makes others lives very uncomfortable. Again, these are good thoughts, its putting them into action that becomes challenging. 

I’m optimistic that my heart can continue to heal. I’m hopeful that within all that I’ve journeyed over these past years, I can extend the grace that others have chosen not to extend my way. And hey… listen. I totally get it. Sometimes we allow anger to consume any possibility of hope and restoration for relationship. Dealing with forgiveness and offense isn’t a walk in the park. It can get messy and may take a long time to process. But process we must.

In continuing being semi-vague and vulnerable, tonight I received a very intense and angry message concerning the happenings of the “story” in the early moments of this blog. Surprisingly, it was the first of its kind. No matter what I think about its validity, I was reminded that we are all capable of creating trauma through the decisions we make.

As a believer, I need to remain rooted in the fundamental truths of the gospel as well as the central characteristics of Christ. I am called to forgive as I've been forgiven, I'm called to love the unloveable. I'm called to turn the other cheek... 

The person who sent me said message actually helped open my eyes as to the anger that I’ve been holding inside of me. The little pity party that I've been having needs to be replaced with the joy that is set before me, knowing that no matter what mistakes I make along the way, no matter the injustices that I may face currently, the best is coming. The best is only in and through Christ.

I obviously am still learning and growing.
I probably won’t get it right every time in the future.
I know I’m bound to fail again…

Let’s make a decision together, here and now, to never forget the darkest moments of our lives and how people were there to forgive us, rebuild trust and believe in us that we could move forward in becoming our true, authentic selves. Let’s be those kind of people. Let’s actually step up and try to be the definition of Christian.

Christ like.

Here’s to His grace.
Thanks for the reminder of your goodness, Dad.

The Best Gift

Happy non-denomination winter solstice period.
-Politically Correct People

“Santa CAME!”

The one and only time of the year that I don’t mind the time Zoey wakes me, even if she comes into our room screaming with excitement. This morning’s festivities was all about Disney, Lego and Shopkins, which are just blowing my mind… what are these hideous little things?!? If you’ve seen these toys, maybe you’ll understand my confusion. Anyways, I’m a happy man because of the joy the day has brought to my little girl and the entire family. There’s been food and fun and lots of couch napping. As I look at my surroundings today, I can truly say that I am a blessed man.

 

I think I’d be amiss to not share some thoughts on the reason why today is so important to me. For me, it’s bigger than a moment in a manger. It’s bigger than a little baby and a naïve picture we’ve created in our heads of the nativity scene… Today is about the ultimate gift coming into our lives for the sole fact that no other worldly present would ever be able to satisfy the deepest need we all have. Sure, toys and gifts and celebrating each other are an amazing part of today’s events, but I’m once again reminded that my joy is found in my need.

 

1 Timothy 1:15-17
Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.

 

This baby, fully God and fully man, came as a gift to save the ugliest parts of me. The me that lies. The me that cusses too much.
The me that has issues forgiving himself as well as others that have dealt pain into my life. The me that still needs to balance working out my salvation while at the same time trying to realize that it’s not about works in His eyes, but abandonment of self.

 

Last night as I watched Zoey put out carrots for the reindeer and milk and cookies for Santa, a thought crossed my mind. My daughter’s faith in Jolly Old Saint Nick to come and bring her toys was so strong and so sincere. It was cute but more so it was unwavering. Just as much as Zoey loves the idea of Santa (and if you got a problem with the whole “Santa” thing, just move to West Texas and leave others be), I have to put my faith in the gift that God sent to me on this day.

 

The Gift, the love and mercy and forgiveness of my Father coming down to earth to live as the ultimate example as well as becoming the ultimate sacrifice for what I could never achieve myself. I can’t unwrap anything like that underneath the tree…

 

So today I encourage you, don’t let this season end without some reflection upon His goodness and His gift in your life. His grace is ACTAULLY amazing. Receive this gift of undeserved, unmerited grace and do your best to keep it close to your heart all year round.

 

Merry Christmas, friends.
Thanks for following along!

Content with my Contentment

I am content; that is a blessing greater than riches; and he to whom that is given need ask no more.
-Fielding

I’ve been thinking a lot lately.
Dangerous, I know.

The year of 2016 is almost at a close with a world of uncertainly laying ahead.
Now, I’m not sure what this year has been like for you. Maybe it was one of new adventures, new love, exciting opportunities…. or maybe its been the exact opposite with bouts of heart ache, loss or confusion…

Seeing as this has been an outlet for me to try and be as authentic as possible in hopes that my vulnerability helps spark some sort of ‘real’ journey for the readers of this blog, I have to be honest and say that I’ve been in a weird spot as of late.
Not passionate about too much.
Complacent with my day-to-day norm.
Not driven to seek the things that God has called me to (both new and old objectives). I seem to get this way when wintertime hits… Even so, I’m aware that I’m still in this place between who I want to be and who I am, all being found within the enormity of who He is.

As I sit and deliberate the overall taste that the year has left in my mouth, I’m left with the notion that I still have a lot of work to do with so many areas of my life and, for the most part, it starts with the fact that I need to rest assured that I have everything I need in this life through the gift of Jesus and His accomplishing work on the cross. That’s sound. That’s ‘capital T’ Truth. Reminding my heart and head of said Truth… harder than not.

The struggle I’ve faced time and time again this year has been being content with the contentment I’ve been seeking. This ever-eluding idea that there needs to be ‘more.’ That what I’ve lost or ruined in the past has become this lofty marker for where my happiness lies. 

I’m thankful that as of late, the Spirit has been nudging me just that extra bit, reminding me that I am not the sum of my mistakes nor am I only worthy if I reach goals that I deem important in my own little headspace.  Its almost as if I’m sitting here, writing, and resolving to repent from the times that I take for granted the blessings that I walk in day in and day out.

I’m reminded of David. Or Joseph. Or so many of the disciples.
Reminded of the seasons where they fought for or waited out His promises to unfold in their lives while at the same time being so incredibly cared for within their chaos. Here I sit, little to no chaos in my life these days, and I still seem to find myself having pity parties.

So yea. Maybe this is a pre-new years resolution for me or a challenge to you the reader. Let’s end this year with perspective that even though our situations may not look exactly how we thought they may or should look like, we are fortunate and underserving of the grace that meets us every single day.

More hope.
Less discontent.
More contentment.
Fewer inconsistencies of where we seek happiness.

Again, just some random thoughts.
Maybe you feel the same.
Maybe I’m just running around in circles out in left field.

Happy Holidays my friends...

Start to Finish

God would not bring you through a Red Sea and turn around and allow you to perish in a fish pond.
-Dent

I’ve been wondering, what are you thoughts on God’s plans for your life? Do you feel like you’re experiencing the blessing that most Christians believe comes from a relationship with Christ? Or maybe your faith has waned because you feel abandoned or left behind when it comes to where you think you “should be” (platform) in the Kingdom. Maybe you’ve experienced the beginning of God doing something really amazing in your life but because of certain circumstances, whether dealt by your own decisions or not, that good thing never fully came to fruition. Maybe you’ve been left to wonder, “there’s gotta be more to it than this…”

 This thought has actually come to mind because of my daughter Zoey. She loves to color and is actually becoming quite good at it. She’s been drawing little dresses, coloring pictures for her teacher; we even bought her one of those adult coloring books that are super detailed. The thing is, she’ll start these pictures but rarely finish before she moves onto the next one.

Maybe I’m reaching here, but it got me thinking about the trust that I’ve placed in the promises that God has spoken over my life. Just follow my not-so-sophisticated thought process and maybe you’ll see where I’m coming from.

 

“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6)

 

Functional faith says that even if we don’t see it, we need to place our trust before our understanding in situations where we can’t see finality. I feel a lot of people bail on their beliefs because they don’t stick around long enough for God to prove Himself to be who He says He is.  It’s like they start to color the picture but fail to take the time to see the task to the end, therefore missing the true beauty of what they’ve been doing. Does that make sense to you? Our relationship with God and therefore our growth in God can bemeasured in time. So as we grow and mature with Him, the beauty of what we receive from Him becomes more and more evident as our journey progresses.

We can't quit on Him just because bad things happen. I’m not about to chalk up my past experiences of His grace and goodness to some “better time” in life just because things don’t look or feel like they once did. And on the flips side, God refuses to give up on us because of the flaws and faults that we continually struggle with in our lives. His loves surpasses our mistakes because He chooses to see us as He sees His own Son. It’s incredible!

 I choose to believe that if He started something in me, than He is absolutely going to finish it. The question is, am I in a place where I’m being faithful with what He’s entrusted to me to see it come to completion. The enemy wants nothing more than for you to believe the lie that too much time has past or that you’re too far gone to be used; that what you once experienced with God was just for that past season in your life. God has not forgot about you and the promises He’s spoken over your life.

 Remember, we believe in the Good News! And the good news is that God’s not finished yet. We can put our hope in what is to come. In the case for authenticity, we also need to be realistic and remember that this also maybe strike as bad news, that He’s not finished yet. That meaning He’s not about to let us stay connected to that which weighs us down and keeps us from progressing with Him.

There’s more wrestling.
There’s more excavating.
There’s more time needed to sort out those flaws and faults that have left you feeling inadequate and unworthy in His eyes.

 I’m not sure if this was even a cohesive thought.
I’m still thinking it through, I guess.

 Hebrews 13:8 reminds me that He’s not going to change. He’s the consistent one, not me. What He started in you, maybe even so long ago, He’s good for it!
Start to finish.

 

70x7

Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.
-Martin Luther King Jr.

There’s a song by a band I love, (and you should too) Brand New, called Seventy Times Seven. The reference of the title belongs to the idea found in Matthew 18:22 where Jesus tells us not to just forgive seven times, but 490 times. If you know the song, you’ll see the irony…

Jesus wasn’t given us a proper math equation towards divine absolution, rather, reminding us that forgiveness is something that takes time and is something we need to work at before it becomes an ingrained (yet never easy) part of our character. The fallen nature of man is quite the opposite, especially when it comes to forgiving ourselves. Like Adam and Eve, we run and we hide and we make excuses… We feel the shame and the guilt that the curse weighs so heavy upon us.

I’ve always felt like I’ve been a person who lets things roll off my back or “forgives easy.” In other words, I’ve learned how to cop-out quickly and burry real emotions like nobody’s business. It’s in our flawed nature that we hold unforgiveness in; that we harbor bitterness and anger towards people when we feel that we’ve been wronged. Fact is, there just a whole lot of us that have decided that we’d rather sweep these feelings or reactions under the carpet than face them head on.

For me, if you’ve been following along, you know that there have been times where I’ve been disappointed and felt like I’ve been done wrong by those that were once closest to me in my life. Sure, the dealings of my situation brought a huge pendulum swing/isolation to so many who once looked up to me or called me friend, so I understand the emotional place people found themselves in. That being said, I still feel the hurt of separation, as I know people still feel hurt by the decisions I made.

 

So where does that leave us?

Forgive. 70x7

 

This is a great thought. This pontificates well and I’m sure preaches really good to a riled up crowd, but it will only be tested in fire. I write this because, just a few days ago, I completely let my disappointment and anger get the best of me. For someone who blogs and talks about grace and mercy and forgiveness… I reacted the exact opposite. Maybe not in words but in actions; in body language and attitude. I failed miserably.

So now, in my awareness of who I was, who I am, and who I want to become; instead of sweeping this moment under the rug, I’ve chosen to deal with the heart issue. I don’t think we will never truly arrive to a place where our hearts and thoughts are completely pure and righteous towards one another, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t recognize our wrongs, check our motives and thoughts and say, “you know what, next time, I’m gonna do better. Next time, I’m gonna extend the grace that He extends to me daily.”

I’m thankful that through this journey, many people have shown an extensive amount of grace towards me. I’m thankful for my friends and family and those I meet along the way who have been impacted through the positives that God has brought about. But that doesn’t mean there’s no room for growth. On the contrary, being aware and authentic means that when hard situations arise in your life, you take the time to evaluate the truth of the matter and deal with it in the light of how deeply you yourself have been forgiven.

 

Forgiveness doesn’t equate to friendship.
It doesn’t always have to make way to platform in each other’s lives.

 

What it does do is free you from the burdens of your past and whatever room it was taking up inside of your heart now can be lent to the characteristics of Christ. Cliché? Maybe… but I say its worth a shot. Call it positive vibes, call it karma, or call it reaping what you sow... I believe that as we allow Christ to heal our hearts of the blows we’ve dealt and felt in the past and allow him access to the awkward moments of wrestling these moments out as we progress ahead, we begin to understand the strength and freedom that forgiveness brings our lives.

So continue to journey.

Continue to guard your hearts not with walls and barriers of past hurts or present doubts but with love and forgiveness that will cover future encounters. I promise you, its okay if you haven’t arrived there yet, but keep going.

Forgive as you’ve been forgiven.