Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.
-Martin Luther King Jr.
There’s a song by a band I love, (and you should too) Brand New, called Seventy Times Seven. The reference of the title belongs to the idea found in Matthew 18:22 where Jesus tells us not to just forgive seven times, but 490 times. If you know the song, you’ll see the irony…
Jesus wasn’t given us a proper math equation towards divine absolution, rather, reminding us that forgiveness is something that takes time and is something we need to work at before it becomes an ingrained (yet never easy) part of our character. The fallen nature of man is quite the opposite, especially when it comes to forgiving ourselves. Like Adam and Eve, we run and we hide and we make excuses… We feel the shame and the guilt that the curse weighs so heavy upon us.
I’ve always felt like I’ve been a person who lets things roll off my back or “forgives easy.” In other words, I’ve learned how to cop-out quickly and burry real emotions like nobody’s business. It’s in our flawed nature that we hold unforgiveness in; that we harbor bitterness and anger towards people when we feel that we’ve been wronged. Fact is, there just a whole lot of us that have decided that we’d rather sweep these feelings or reactions under the carpet than face them head on.
For me, if you’ve been following along, you know that there have been times where I’ve been disappointed and felt like I’ve been done wrong by those that were once closest to me in my life. Sure, the dealings of my situation brought a huge pendulum swing/isolation to so many who once looked up to me or called me friend, so I understand the emotional place people found themselves in. That being said, I still feel the hurt of separation, as I know people still feel hurt by the decisions I made.
So where does that leave us?
Forgive. 70x7
This is a great thought. This pontificates well and I’m sure preaches really good to a riled up crowd, but it will only be tested in fire. I write this because, just a few days ago, I completely let my disappointment and anger get the best of me. For someone who blogs and talks about grace and mercy and forgiveness… I reacted the exact opposite. Maybe not in words but in actions; in body language and attitude. I failed miserably.
So now, in my awareness of who I was, who I am, and who I want to become; instead of sweeping this moment under the rug, I’ve chosen to deal with the heart issue. I don’t think we will never truly arrive to a place where our hearts and thoughts are completely pure and righteous towards one another, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t recognize our wrongs, check our motives and thoughts and say, “you know what, next time, I’m gonna do better. Next time, I’m gonna extend the grace that He extends to me daily.”
I’m thankful that through this journey, many people have shown an extensive amount of grace towards me. I’m thankful for my friends and family and those I meet along the way who have been impacted through the positives that God has brought about. But that doesn’t mean there’s no room for growth. On the contrary, being aware and authentic means that when hard situations arise in your life, you take the time to evaluate the truth of the matter and deal with it in the light of how deeply you yourself have been forgiven.
Forgiveness doesn’t equate to friendship.
It doesn’t always have to make way to platform in each other’s lives.
What it does do is free you from the burdens of your past and whatever room it was taking up inside of your heart now can be lent to the characteristics of Christ. Cliché? Maybe… but I say its worth a shot. Call it positive vibes, call it karma, or call it reaping what you sow... I believe that as we allow Christ to heal our hearts of the blows we’ve dealt and felt in the past and allow him access to the awkward moments of wrestling these moments out as we progress ahead, we begin to understand the strength and freedom that forgiveness brings our lives.
So continue to journey.
Continue to guard your hearts not with walls and barriers of past hurts or present doubts but with love and forgiveness that will cover future encounters. I promise you, its okay if you haven’t arrived there yet, but keep going.
Forgive as you’ve been forgiven.
