I am content; that is a blessing greater than riches; and he to whom that is given need ask no more.
-Fielding
I’ve been thinking a lot lately.
Dangerous, I know.
The year of 2016 is almost at a close with a world of uncertainly laying ahead.
Now, I’m not sure what this year has been like for you. Maybe it was one of new adventures, new love, exciting opportunities…. or maybe its been the exact opposite with bouts of heart ache, loss or confusion…
Seeing as this has been an outlet for me to try and be as authentic as possible in hopes that my vulnerability helps spark some sort of ‘real’ journey for the readers of this blog, I have to be honest and say that I’ve been in a weird spot as of late.
Not passionate about too much.
Complacent with my day-to-day norm.
Not driven to seek the things that God has called me to (both new and old objectives). I seem to get this way when wintertime hits… Even so, I’m aware that I’m still in this place between who I want to be and who I am, all being found within the enormity of who He is.
As I sit and deliberate the overall taste that the year has left in my mouth, I’m left with the notion that I still have a lot of work to do with so many areas of my life and, for the most part, it starts with the fact that I need to rest assured that I have everything I need in this life through the gift of Jesus and His accomplishing work on the cross. That’s sound. That’s ‘capital T’ Truth. Reminding my heart and head of said Truth… harder than not.
The struggle I’ve faced time and time again this year has been being content with the contentment I’ve been seeking. This ever-eluding idea that there needs to be ‘more.’ That what I’ve lost or ruined in the past has become this lofty marker for where my happiness lies.
I’m thankful that as of late, the Spirit has been nudging me just that extra bit, reminding me that I am not the sum of my mistakes nor am I only worthy if I reach goals that I deem important in my own little headspace. Its almost as if I’m sitting here, writing, and resolving to repent from the times that I take for granted the blessings that I walk in day in and day out.
I’m reminded of David. Or Joseph. Or so many of the disciples.
Reminded of the seasons where they fought for or waited out His promises to unfold in their lives while at the same time being so incredibly cared for within their chaos. Here I sit, little to no chaos in my life these days, and I still seem to find myself having pity parties.
So yea. Maybe this is a pre-new years resolution for me or a challenge to you the reader. Let’s end this year with perspective that even though our situations may not look exactly how we thought they may or should look like, we are fortunate and underserving of the grace that meets us every single day.
More hope.
Less discontent.
More contentment.
Fewer inconsistencies of where we seek happiness.
Again, just some random thoughts.
Maybe you feel the same.
Maybe I’m just running around in circles out in left field.
Happy Holidays my friends...
